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Discussion > Climate Change Christmas Cracker Jokes

Q: Why did Michael Mann enter his home-made American beer into competitions?

A: Cause he overheard two Brits talking about the Piss Prize.

Dec 19, 2015 at 4:18 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: What significant addition has Climate Science made to the Pantheon of Sciences?

A: Trickonometry

Dec 19, 2015 at 4:28 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why do Climate Scientists always look pale?

A: Cause they never use sun spots.

Dec 19, 2015 at 4:40 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: What do climate scientists always get for Christmas?

A: Old Splice.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:03 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: What is the difference between Climategate and Christmas?

A: One has a stocking fill, the other a shocking Phil.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:09 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: What do you get if cross a climate scientist with an Essex girl?

A: A chavesty.

(Meaning: chav)

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:13 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why do climate scientists hate English sea side holidays?

A: Because of all the Pier Revues.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:17 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why do climate activists never win the lottery?

A: Cause you can only use 97 once.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:22 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why is bingo at climate conferences boring?

A: It only has one number, 97.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:25 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why are post climate conference pub quizzes easy?

A: The answer is always 9... {ok I think I have killed that one enough}

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:28 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Media Hoar,
Credit where credit's due.
Very good.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:37 AM | Registered CommenterM Courtney

Q: Why do climate scientists always miss their yearly job appraisal?

A: Because they hate negative feedback.

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:40 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Thanks MC, not sure you should encourage me...

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:45 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why did the bus to the climate conference skid off the road?

A: Because of a Big Mac in tyre.

{I apologise for that one}

Dec 19, 2015 at 7:50 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why do climate scientists always miss out on sports on TV?

A: Because results from satellites make them mad.

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:00 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why do climate scientists never walk into their teenage children's rooms?

A: Because they can't tolerate chaos.

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:12 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why can't climate scientists help with their children's homework?

A: Because history only starts in 1960.

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:17 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why did the climate scientist get eaten by the polar bear?

A: Because he is cannot hear the phrase "The PAWS!!!"

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:25 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why do climate scientists always have great sex?

A: Because they whisper "You are the hottest".

Q: Why do partners of climate scientists have bad sex?

A: They are told it is hotter, but never seems to change.

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:36 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: How many Climate Change Christmas Cracker jokes can we make?

A: Yes you guessed it, the target should be at least... 97!

Rough running count is currently 71.

Come on, all entries welcome.

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:44 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why are climate scientist homes always cold and miserable at Christmas?

A: The heat? Always hiding.

Dec 19, 2015 at 8:59 AM | Unregistered CommenterMedia Hoar

Q: Why isn't 'Climate Science' disinfectant a market leader?

A: Because it only kills 97% of household germs.

Dec 19, 2015 at 1:58 PM | Registered CommenterRobert Christopher

Only 97 out of 10 climate psyentists understand percentages.

Dec 19, 2015 at 2:45 PM | Unregistered Commentergolf charlie

97% of climate science is made up. And that is a fact.

Dec 19, 2015 at 2:50 PM | Unregistered Commentergolf charlie

After years of worry and consternation, and billions of pounds looking, Kevin Trenberth's missing heat has been found!

The Polar bears ate it. They were thought to be missing too.

Dec 19, 2015 at 3:01 PM | Unregistered Commentergolf charlie