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« Ecomodernism | Main | Comedy greenery »

Tory comedy

Not that the Conservative manifesto is much better. Here are some excerpts. First up is a proposal to put a non-endangered species on the endangered species list:


We will press for full ‘endangered species’ status for polar bears and a ban on the international trade in polar bear skins, as well as for greater attention to be paid to the impact of climate change on wildlife and habitats in Polar Regions in the Arctic Council and other international fora.

Then there is a case of highlighting "things we have done nothing to change":


Power margins – the safety cushion we need to prevent blackouts – have fallen to record lows because of [Labour's] historic failure to invest in new capacity. Domestic sources of oil and gas were unexploited. And Labour failed to deliver the next generation of energy projects that will help us keep the lights on, drive bills down and reduce carbon emissions.

Followed by outright dishonesty...

All parts of the UK will soon be helping to deliver secure, affordable and low-carbon energy, from the Hinkley Point nuclear power station, to offshore wind turbine manufacturing at the new Green Port in Hull, the next generation of pipelines West of Shetland and the Swansea tidal lagoon.
In terms of actual policies, it's marginally better but only marginally. So it's yes to fracking and no to onshore windfarms but yes to the Climate Change Act and yes to Paris. In essence it's more of the policies that have left us on the verge of the lights going out. 
I think it's fair to say that this will not be a vote winner.


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Reader Comments (33)

It has to be open to deals with both UKIP and the Greens. So it can't be coherent, can it?

What the Tory Manifesto tells us is that Energy Policy is not a mainstay of their thought processes.

Apr 14, 2015 at 12:39 PM | Registered CommenterM Courtney

They wouldn't even know what the endangered species list looks like, & they certainly couldn't tell us what the last animal was to go extinct!

Apr 14, 2015 at 12:53 PM | Unregistered CommenterAlan the Brit

"because of [Labour's] historic failure to invest in new capacity"

I'd be interested to know what new capacity he has invested in since 2010. Windmills'n'solar don't count as they aren't reliable.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:08 PM | Registered Commenterjamesp

Shouldn't those who provide affordable and reliable power be considered an 'endangered species'?

They have been targeted and hunted, by clueless idiots for years, and now it seems that some of the clueless idiots have just being doing it, for their own self gratification.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:14 PM | Unregistered CommenterGolf Charlie

To my mind, Cameron is a loser. At the time of the last election, Brown was loathed across the country, with the exception of the 'my party, right or wrong' brigade. The Tories should have walked it with a big majority, and all they could manage was a coalition. If the price of cutting the green crap is him sleeping in the spare room, it seems the country can go hang.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:15 PM | Unregistered CommenterAllan M

The Tory manifesto is a bit lukewarm on climate - sounding like saving money is more important than cutting emissions:

"meet our climate change commitments, cutting carbon emissions as cheaply as possible, to save you money"
"We will cut emissions as cost-effectively as possible, and will not support additional distorting and expensive power sector targets."

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:15 PM | Registered CommenterPaul Matthews

The Hitchiker's Guide to Democracy

Douglas Adams.

“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."

On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:20 PM | Unregistered Commenteresmiff


"the price of cutting the green crap is him sleeping in the spare room"

That sounds horribly plausible. He was probably there for a week when he first said it...

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:25 PM | Registered Commenterjamesp

This is a rather sad example of "Tweedledee, Tweedledum" in action.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:26 PM | Unregistered Commenterhunter

Once again the Conservatives demonstrate their inability to turn the clock back by even one minute, ever. They will never undo socialist madness, just offer to manage it better. Whoopee.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:39 PM | Unregistered Commenterbill

Whoops - I posted a comment on Unthreaded just now before I saw this.

A PS to my Unthreaded comment: the Tories say 'We will work to prevent climate change ...'. Now that would be a real challenge!

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:40 PM | Registered CommenterRobin Guenier

I invite His Grace, and his congregation, to join me - here in the tropics. Leave the idiots to it. Like I did.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:45 PM | Unregistered CommenterJimmy Haigh

To be fair, north of the border at least, the Tories can claim to have first hand knowledge of endangered species; the running joke after the last election, was that the only Tory MP left in Scotland was outnumbered 2 to 1 by the pandas in Edinburgh zoo. That said the Scottish conservatives (especially Murdo Fraser who has influence as chair of the Holyrood Energy Committee) are much more clued up on energy policy and the madness of windmills than Dave and his PPE Oxbridge chums in Albion's Plain.

Jimmy - I am sure you did the right thing, but it is too late for me. I am destined to remain here in the hills, fighting the good fight until the lights go out.

Apr 14, 2015 at 1:54 PM | Registered Commenterlapogus

Robin Guenier on Apr 14, 2015 at 1:35 PM in Unthreaded

The Tory manifesto: At home, we will continue to support the UK Climate Change Act.

No wonder Douglas Carswell joined UKIP:

Talk Carswell: I was wrong about the Climate Change Act

The article is dated 25 Feb 2013, over two years ago!

Apr 14, 2015 at 2:03 PM | Registered CommenterRobert Christopher

Seriously? "Full 'endangered species' status for polar bears"?

They must really believe the environmentalists' hype that the bears are currently drowning and starving in droves. I understand children believing that and thoughtless, child-like animal lovers - but adults savvy enough to run for office?

Even the most vocal activist biologists admit, when pushed, that the bears are not in trouble NOW.

A future 'threat' is just that: a possible or probable threat to survival. Models can only predict that bears will be, in the foreseeable future, 'threatened' with possibly becoming an endangered species at even later future time.

No reputable conservation organization anywhere in the world, even with their misguided fear of the future, would say that polar bears should be listed as 'endangered' based on what we know (and don't know) about polar bears.

It would make the term 'endangered' utterly meaningless.

Apr 14, 2015 at 4:46 PM | Unregistered CommenterSusan Crockford

'We will work to prevent climate change ...'.

Even the children's cartoon Pocoyo managed the marginally more sane phrase "change climate change".

Apr 14, 2015 at 5:28 PM | Unregistered CommenterDaveJR

Natalie Bennett insists that - "we have lost half the wild creatures on earth in the past 40 years"
If she should be referring to SPECIES lost in the last 40 years, then from the Phantom Shiner(a fish) in 1975 to the Formosan Clouded Leopard in 2013, there are only 32 of them, and that list includes the Aldabra Banded Snail which after 7 years decided to de-extinct itself.
It also includes the San Marcos Gambusia and the Amistad Gambusia - were they ever distinct sub-species ?
As they've gone we may never know.
The biggest percentage "loss" would appear to be among Amphibians - down 63% (?) but if we're going by sheer numbers the 2 BILLION Cane Toads in Australia might redress the balance somewhat.
WWF love these unsubstantiated statistics but when politicians include them in their manifestos we ought not to accept these "facts" so readily.

Apr 14, 2015 at 6:44 PM | Unregistered Commentertoad

What the Tory Manifesto tells us is that Energy Policy is not a mainstay of their thought processes.

Apr 14, 2015 at 12:39 PM | Registered CommenterM Courtney

Indeed. They were happy to leave DECC to the LibDums, and thus comfortable with the criminal Huhne and the lunatic Davey. The influence of the nauseating Oliver Letwin in Cameron's inner circle is perhaps visible here.

Apr 14, 2015 at 6:45 PM | Unregistered CommenterDaveS

@ Jimmy Haigh

Where do you live, Jimmy?

Apr 14, 2015 at 6:48 PM | Unregistered Commentercheshirered

Exactly how many polar bears are there normally in the UK? I mean, I know that with climate change and all that, I've seen precious few in the Cotswolds recently. But... I'm struggling to see how this is a pressing issue for the British electorate.

Apr 14, 2015 at 6:57 PM | Unregistered CommenterJames Evans

Just noticed this:

Canadian Scientist: Polar Bears at Risk From Habitat Loss in Areas Where They Don’t Actually Live

Apr 14, 2015 at 7:46 PM | Unregistered CommenterSusan Crockford

cheshire red:

Australia has tropical areas or if you want to feel at home, Tasmania is the coldest State - parts of it even get (light) snow.
We are a bit short of polar bears though.

Emigration may be your only hope.

P.S. Note heroic avoidance of cricket.

Apr 14, 2015 at 9:46 PM | Unregistered CommenterGraeme No.3

It is possible I am wrong, but the U.K only has " observer" status at the Arctic Council. In fact the council could conceivably refuse this observer status at any of their meetings. However, any "observer" does not get to vote on anything. Wonder how they intend to change things?

Apr 14, 2015 at 11:53 PM | Unregistered CommenterJoe Prins

They wouldn't even know what the endangered species list looks like, & they certainly couldn't tell us what the last animal was to go extinct!

Said Alan the Brit.

Ah shucks, lapogus got there first I guess, I was going to point out the Westminster rodents are quite soon going to find out what it is like to be on the "endangered species list" - I predict imminent risk of specie wipe out.


On all matters concerning 'manifestations''s a lottery on cloud nine.

A web of deceit and shoddy cloth of lies. Of making promises they've [liblabcongreen] no intention of keeping and in any event.....the uncertainties of this forthcoming national ballot are to say the least manifold..........And thus, a manifesto becomes a kids comicstrip of "my dad is bigger than your dad".....ala "what we might do, if we came to power in the 'happy' circumstance of the electorate being stupid enough to vote for placing an x - any rosette of any party."

However, living as we do in an elective dictatorship, we can assure ourselves of some known knowns:

a. a minority government will not have the muscle to carry through on promises or, a coalition of political parties are going to renege on all faint promises made pre election.
b. most of the political parties will be broke after this next GE, therefore what you get cobbled together after maybe months of haggling [because of the five year fixed parliamentary term] is likely to stick - just think back to the excitement of the last five years and then project to another five years of something infinitely more boring.

c. Most importantly and this is the dictatorship bit, there is an extra unelected authority and it's calling the tune and it is something the Westminster claque will never address because all the mainstream political parties sing from the same hymnal and Brussels is the organ grinder in chief.
It is a, politically nihilistic inertia out of our control but done in our name, a scorched earth of Cultural Marxism will remain the focus and nexus of all future UK government policy. No matter who is elected [barring UKIP]. Thus, the administration particularly the social engineers of the local government stormtroopers will go on unabated. Ergo; the green agenda, open doors and mass immigration, enormous state borrowing to giveaway in welfare, benefits galore from a state providing it all free at the point of access - a credit card for the world's poorest - is what we are. And the rest; Political Correctness goes mental and the march of Common Purpose will go on unchallenged.

There is only one choice, UKIP can be the only choice for Britain.

Apr 15, 2015 at 1:26 AM | Unregistered CommenterAthelstan.

The ideology of the "left" keeps winning because, while delusional and infantile, it actually exists.

Apr 15, 2015 at 1:43 AM | Unregistered CommenterBrute

"This is a rather sad example of "Tweedledee, Tweedledum" in action." --hunter

More like Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber.

"We will press for full ‘endangered species’ status for polar bears and a ban on the international trade in polar bear skins..." --Camaroon & Co.

Now it has been revealed. The Conservatives hate baby seals and seek to ensure that increasing numbers of them will fall prey to polar bears, be torn to ribbons and eaten.

Apr 15, 2015 at 3:15 AM | Unregistered Commenterjorgekafkazar

Exactly how many polar bears are there normally in the UK? I mean, I know that with climate change and all that, I've seen precious few in the Cotswolds recently. But... I'm struggling to see how this is a pressing issue for the British electorate.
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:57 PM | Unregistered Commenter James Evans

There are 2, at the Highland Wildflife Park in Kincraig, near Aviemore. which at about 57 degrees is further north than the maximum southern range of their Hudson Bay cousins. So in theory at least, if it wasn't for the Gulf Stream moderating our climate, their could be polar bears roaming around as far south as Birmingham. I wonder what the Greens would think about that.

Apr 15, 2015 at 9:05 AM | Registered Commenterlapogus

There were polar bears roaming here before the UK warmed up all by itself.

Apr 15, 2015 at 10:14 AM | Unregistered CommenterJamesG

Do all politicians have illusions of grandeur? "We will control the climate" Surely that is a certifiable statement, bring on the men in the white coats,,,,fast!

Apr 15, 2015 at 11:25 AM | Unregistered CommenterDerek Buxton

Unfortunately, a large part of the Tory manifesto appears to have been written in the kitchen at No 10, by SamCam.

Apr 15, 2015 at 11:55 AM | Unregistered CommenterBloke down the pub

Derek Baxter,

Wonder why the word 'Cnut' springs to mind?

He knew better, of course. Unlike my computer's autocorrect function...

Apr 15, 2015 at 11:59 AM | Registered Commenterflaxdoctor

So, whatever party is elected, or whatever coalition is possible - all will be CAGW believers. UKIP can only hope to affect policy in coalition if it gets many more seats, than polls suggest. Very, very sad for my children and grandchildren.

Apr 15, 2015 at 4:24 PM | Unregistered CommenterPeter Stroud

As a Canadian, let me say to the not-Conservative Party there in Britain: SOD OFF! Go find your own Polar Bears!

Apr 15, 2015 at 10:15 PM | Unregistered CommenterRobert of Ottawa

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