The long tales

The University of East Anglia is having a conference on writing and climate change. It features well known climate writers Giles Foden, Mike Hulme and, erm, Phil Jones (click for full size)

This comes to me via Richard Bean, who was invited but can't make it. My own invitation appears to have been lost in the post.

Comments

[Skiphil]

Andrew and Geoff,

Discerning readers already know that this conference is not worthy of your presence, yet also not worth holding in your absence!

(How is that for a paradox?)

It may be worth some efforts between now and May to show by "online conference" at Bishop Hill what these organizers have missed by casting their net so foolishly.

[3x2]

"How do writers and Scientists communicate the challenges of climate change?".

Now then let's see....

Don't tell your chums to delete incriminating e-mails after they have been requested under FOI legislation . Just makes us think that you are trying to hide something.

Don't withhold your data. If it is as solid as you claim then there will be no problems found by those pesky 'amateurs'.

Don't lie by hiding the decline. If there is a problem with your 'graph' then admit that there is a problem and explain it to your audience.

I'm sure there are many more, I've just lost the will to enumerate the rest.

[james griffin]

Let us not forget that with AGW falling apart there was a deliberate decision to rename it "Climate Change"...they have may have fooled many but not all of us!

[geoffchambers]

In thanks for your kind words, here’s a preview of chapter eleven of Apocalypse Close:

George was removing his foot carefully from the smashed cucumber frame and shaking shards of glass from his trouserleg (thank Gaia for cycle clips!), when the door of the greenhouse opened, and Old Briffa emerged, bearing a bucket of night soil. “Ah, it be young Master Gearge!” he exclaimed in an uncharacteristic explosion of human warmth. “Delingpole said you might be poppin’ by.”
And he opened wide the door of the greenhouse, gesturing to George to enter.
Inside, Professor Phil was sitting at a table studying a chart covered in small squares. It reminded George of the football pool coupons which he recalled from his childhood, in the kitchen up at the Big House during the long vac, watching the servants filling them in and sending them off together with a postal order for one and sixpence.
In each square was a number, and Professor Phil was running a grimy forefinger up and down and from left to right , painfully totting up figures under his breath.
George looked over his shoulder. “Ah,” he said brightly, “It”s a map of the Pacific Ocean. I can see Vanatu.”
“It’s a noo game just invented from Japan,” explained Briffa. “It’s called Sod-U-Kev”. Our Perfessor Phil ‘ere is tryin’ to find the missin’ ‘eat.”

[Rob]

If Phil Jones is as good with MS Word as he is with MS Excel, this propaganda fest will be well worth the £40, in comedic value alone.

They would double the attendance if a guy with a unique skill set like Peter Gleick was on the list. Rumor has it green rock band, David & the Suzettes, are providing the entertainment.

[Entropic man]

Much near future science fiction weaves higer temperatures or sea levels into the background. There's one in which New York resembles Venice, with boats plying the flooded streets and bridges between the buildings.

I even wrote a drabble:-

“Mr. Watts, Mr. Courtney, tallbloke; thank you for your efforts.” gushed the new World President.

“You discredited climate science. Industry prospered; CO2 levels soared. For 20 years global temperatures remained constant.”

“Your wisdom was applauded by all. Oil companies competed to fund you. Right-thinking conservative politicians heaped honours on you.”

“What a shock when temperatures began to rapidly rise and the greenhouse effect ran away!”

“What chagrin to find you were part of a conspiracy that went even higher than you imagined, revealed when your new masters landed.”

“We had to wait until the climate was right.”, said the Mekon.

[not banned yet]

Entripox looked sadly on as the last living member of his family was led away, to continue on their managed low oxygen lifepath, as now required by the latest World Council measure against dangerous MMCC. Whilst he had a position of privilege due to his tireless work in the great information wars, these scheduled visits disturbed him.

Rather than being a comfort, they had the opposite effect, simply sharpening the memory of that painful moment he had realised he'd been so wrong and that now it was too late - the serfdom of the masses was now a reality and all he could do was look on in dismay at what had been wrought. Pushing back against the thoughts crowding in on him, he turned back to his keyboard and slowly started tapping out his 8074 th piece on ocean acidification.

As he typed gradually his mood lightened and his thoughts turned to the upcoming lunch with Mike and all the old gang from UEA. Admittedly he still felt some unease that they no longer hid their lizard form but they still knew how to lay on a good finger buffet and the travel expenses would be covered.

[Jeremy Poynton]

Ro Randall - Psychotherapist

WTF? Climate Change. Psychotherapy? Big bad VOODOO!

[ZT]

@Rob: If Phil Jones is as good with MS Word as he is with MS Excel, this propaganda fest will be well worth the £40, in comedic value alone.

Thank you!

Welcome to the Phil Jones Microsoft Office Masterclass. All students should have completed Keith Briffa's Introduction to Data Loss and Destruction for Fun and Profit prior to enrollment.

[Entropic man]

not banned yet

Like the story. :-)

You have to sharpen the edit a bit yet. A drabble should be exactly 100 words.

[Breath of Fresh Air]

The Comedy dept is expanding at UEA

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9858473/Attenborough-documentaries-ignore-gay-animals.html

Dr Brett Mills of the University of East Anglia accused the veteran broadcaster of espousing the idea that all animals are heterosexual despite a wealth of evidence they engage in a variety of sexual activity.

[clipe]

http://nofrakkingconsensus.com/2013/02/08/writing-about-climate-change/

[David]

You need to change your name to Richard Bean, Bish....

[Entropic man]

"Admittedly he still felt some unease that they no longer hid their lizard form...."

Feb 9, 2013 at 1:20 AM | not banned yet

I thought David Icke was on YOUR side!

http://www.davidicke.com/headlines/73967-global-warming-stopped-16-years-ago-reveals-met-office-report-quietly-released-and-here-is-the-chart-to-prove-it