I just made the huge mistake of taking a look at the Conservatives' new Stand Up Speak Up website. Never in all my years have I seen such a collection of cretinous half-arsed half-witted half-formed twaddle. The schools system is completely mindbogglingly disfunctional and numpty Cameron's thinks we might like to consider better links with the community! Or perhaps a little training for head-teachers of schools in deprived areas! What a pillock!

God this slimy man and his party of slack-jawed inbred goons make me want to puke.

The Conservatives - they're like your local council but not as bright and not as nice.

/rage.