I picked up a glossy leaflet in the local sports centre the other day.

Clutter is dangerous - Tidy up! was the title, and it was brought to us by the combined eminences of Perth & Kinross council and NHS Tayside working under the umbrella of the Tayside Healthy Communities Project. The cover had a nice cartoon of somebody tripping over a book, watched by his muliticultural family.

This looked like pretty important stuff, so I read on:

Five Tips to Help Reduce the Risk of Falls

There's a lot to cover then. I had no idea standing up was so complex.

Take regular exercise

Huh? I would have thought that remaining safely ensconced in bed would be more effective.

Look after your feet and wear sensible shoes.

No more dressing up in ladies stillettos for me then.

Get your eyes tested regularly

So you can see the floor before it hits you, no doubt. 

Avoid rugs, loose carpet, and trailing flexes

Break dancing might be inadvisable too. 

Have plenty of light, put light on if up to loo at night

Doesn't everyone pee in the dark now? There's a planet to save after all.

Signing off, the authors (either the Falls Service Manager or the Falls Project Manager by the look of it) give us this final gem of advice.

"It's better to be safe than sorry" and "Pride comes before a fall". 

I'm speechless.

(Political note: Perth & Kinross council is run by a LibDem/SNP coalition - just so you know who to blame).