T in the Park

The village's annual assault from the T in the Park festival is now upon us, bringing the delights of loud music, recreational drugs and alfresco urination to this quiet corner of rural Scotland.

The BBC covers the mud (which must be truly awe-inspiring after the summer we've been having) and the motorway tailbacks (seven hours if rumour is correct), but they may have missed something.

A spokesman for the festival said: "There have been major traffic queues due to the wet weather conditions which has made parking on site extremely difficult."

However, word in the pub last night was that the real reason for the tailbacks were that police were checking every single vehicle heading for the festival. No mention of this on the Beeb. Do the polis know something or is this just backside covering?